Should We, as Christians, Be Drinking the Pumpkin Spice Latte?

GTY_pumpkin_spice_latte_jt_150817_12x5_1600It’s that time of year when the weather begins to turn, the leaves start to change color, and all across the nation the Pumpkin Spice Latte is back on the menu.

I would caution my brothers and sisters (let’s be honest, mostly sisters) to think before they drink.

Anytime something becomes this popular and accepted by society, we need to step back and ask if we’ve ceased merely being in the world and have, in fact, become part of it (Couldn’t find the chapter and verse, but I know it’s in the KJV).  Allow me to incredibly humbly suggest a couple of things we ought to meditate on and pray over before we imbibe the PSL.

1. A study of “Pumpkin Spice” in the original languages

When we break down the etymology of the name of Satan’s favorite drink, it shows how truly subversive the Tempter can be in trying to lure away God’s own.  The word “pumpkin” has two roots in the original Latin.  “Pump” is an obvious reference to the song “Pumped Up Kicks” which is about a person who uses a weapon to attack people around him because he wants their shoes.  This is a focus on greed and covetousness so ugly that it ought not be present in the life of the believer.  Also murder.  The fact that the word “pump” is followed by “kin” is a clear insinuation that the coffee industry wants us to murder our families.  But you don’t think about that when you’re drinking your beverage do you? DO YOU?  And finally, “spice” is a not-so-subtle allusion to the Spice Girls.


Remember these bastions of Christian morals?


Can we allow ourselves to forget where this drink comes from?  I, for one, refuse to drink anything that supports family murder or the Spice Girls.


2. Genesis 3 and Starbucks

The entire entrance of sin into the world was caused by a unique creature offering a fruit to an unwitting female.

Can’t see the connection?  No one has popularized the PSL like Starbucks.  Just like Satan used the talking snake in the garden, he is using the call of the siren today.  He doesn’t offer an apple or a pomegranate, but a pumpkin.  And who is the most susceptible audience to this tempting offer?  Females.  It’s truly ironic that the mermaid, who legendarily led young sailors to their doom, is still doing so today…just attacking a different demographic.catch-white-girl.jpg

Wake up, America.  The Devil is a master deceiver.  He knows what works and merely polishes it up and repackages it for a different generation.


3. Mainstream? More like the wide road that leads to destruction.

We are called to be in the world and not of it. (again, verse pending).  If anything becomes mainstream…that means it is time to break away from it and avoid it for the sake of impressing Jesus.  Allow me to list several things that are accepted by our society and ask yourself if those are the type of things you want to be associated with: mixed gender bathrooms, marijuana, the Black Eyed Peas, UFC, the Minnesota Vikings, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the ESV “bible”, PETA, etc.

It isn’t harmless.  Nothing that popular can be.

So please, think of who you represent before you post your pictures of your hypocritical smile with your Family Murdering Spice Girls drink.  It’s not just a drink.  It’s a step on a very slippery slope.  Jesus never drank a Pumpkin Spice Latte, and that’s good enough for me.

75 thoughts on “Should We, as Christians, Be Drinking the Pumpkin Spice Latte?

      • Satire is neither light nor a joke. By definition it is or can be ridicule or mockery. I have to agree I felt it was a waste of time and some of the comments below carry the ‘joke’ to the point of offensive.

        Liked by 2 people

      • The urinal deodorant at my place of work has been pumpkin spiced. No, really, pee and get the aroma of nutmeg and other spices. That, friend, is stupid. Satire is the most fun when people that think they are clever just don’t get it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Not stupid. For someone that grew up in a church that is the one and only true church, aka (scream this loudly while shaking your Bible in the air and pounding the pulpit with your fist) THE Independent-Fundamental-KJV only-devil hatin’-don’t dip nor drink nor run with those that do-that is good preachin’ even if I am the one doing it-can I get an amen-well, shekinah gluh-ory Baptist church, this article shines a humorous light on a problematic, Spirit dampening religion that slaps a verse on a topic and twists it to fit their fear of living in Christ. Abstain from all appearances of evil is the classic, along with being separate from the world. That is the opening of hunting season on interpretation, and suddenly you’re going to hell in a handbasket on a slippery slope for wearing shorts, straight into the darkest pits of hell. Oh, you’re not alone. You are accompanied by all those others that your wearing shorts caused to stumble onto your wide, slippery slope. And wait, did you go to a MOVIE?? Ostricized by the church so they are not close when the pending punishment of God comes. Zap. Ash pile. You didn’t get punished?? Well, that means you aren’t a child of God then. He punishes His children. It goes on and on. Thanks to the author for the lighthearted relevation of how some religions are, which seems to do more harm for the cause of Christ than good.

        Liked by 6 people

      • I completely agree…this is by far the most ignorant and retarded article I have read in a long time. You need to quote sources for all the bs you just published. Then go to the garage and find a hammer and smack yourself until you are unconscious because this article is straight biased and retarded! By the way, Wiccans (such as myself drink this stuff) but for some reason do not shove it and their beliefs down people’s throats….stop being such a judgmental douchebag! Blessed Be! Moron….


  1. True believers know that coffee should be drank the way the good Lord made it. It doesn’t grow in the wild with 3 pumps of vanilla syrup, 2 packets of spenda, or with whipped cream. No. It should be drunk black, without anything added to it.. in the purest form. We should add to or take away from God’s creation.


    Liked by 10 people

    • Ha! Gena, if we shouldn’t add to or take away, then we shouldn’t add water, or roast and dry the coffee either. Should we just chew on the beans? Let’s not be too extreme! Since I can’t grow coffee near me in Texas then I guess I shouldn’t get access to coffee anyway, seeing as God didn’t see fit grow it here. I have been reading on the greenie/prepper sites that roasted Mesquite beans make a great substitute for coffee. Maybe I should try that? We have jillions of mesquite trees here! I could grow a pumpkin, and milk the neighbor’s goat. I could even grow some sugar cane or stevia, or maybe squeeze some prickly pear tunas for sweetener? Yeah, that’s the ticket! Maybe then I wouldn’t be taking away or adding to God’s creation. 🙂 lol!!


      • LOL! We have wild coffee here, that’s native. WOO HOO! I’m going transplant some here (it’s not protected) and get my chew on. We also have sugar cane and coconut milk here. WOO I win. I’ll have to go with cinnamon vs. milking the pumpkin… but I can be ok with that.
        We could trade. The Proverbs 31 woman did TRADE for goods from afar.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. OH MY GRACIOUS this made my whole day! I want to smooch you on the face!

    Well… not if you’re a guy. No offense, I’ll just air-shake your hand: no touching.
    Because, you know…
    Or a girl, and even a holy smooch could be taken the wrong way…

    Can I say ‘smooching’ on a public forum?


    Liked by 6 people

  3. Please tell me this is a joke! I enjoy my coffee and teas and I’ll enjoy them. And I’ll still be a Christian. Just because I sweeten my drinks doesn’t mean I’m a sinner or being lured by satin. Folks back in Jesus’ day didn’t bathe everyday, does that mean we are sinners and allowing satin to influence us because we bath? Get real. Whoever wrote this article needs to ask for forgiveness from everyone who read this, because it was a waste of time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The joke with the ESV mostly pointing towards KJV-onlyists, that tiny fragment of the population who believe that the King James Version’s translation of the Bible is the only/most accurate English version, despite lots of evidence to the contrary. Some go so far as to say that the translation itself is divinely inspired. KJV-onlyist types are also the ones who tend to think that everything in pop culture is somehow related to the mark of the beast or Satan, thus that would be the sort of person who would write this article (if it were serious). I feel your pain though, I love my ESV.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. If you are serious at all you should know where your scripture is that you try to quote and use as a proof text. I read because I thought you would touch upon the high carb content of these drinks and as believers we should care for our bodies since we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 CORINTHIANS 6:9). And verse 20 concludes, “So glorify God in your body”. Scripture also says “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Umm I am undeniably a Minnesota Viking fan. Each year I try to break free from this bondage, but always seem to fail. I think there is a lure in the purple they wear that some how wipes my memory clean, leaving me unable to think for myself for another year, clinging to the championships of yore! Please help me.

    PS ~Which Spice girl is named Pumpkin?

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Your argument refutes itself! A thorough eisegetical use of the Scriptures can clearly show how you are a teacher of false things, even a legalist! You allude to the Spice Girls, which is your first mistake as it clearly shows you are nothing more than the adulterous woman of Proverbs 7 laying out your spices to perfume your bed.

    With “pumpkin” as defined perfectly by you, one who is well acquainted with the texts knows that Jesus clearly means for his followers to put their beloved ones to death when he states, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters…he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26 ESV). With this one text alone by your own admission of the meaning of “pumpkin”, you slay yourself upon the sword of Scripture, let alone the host of supporting texts and concepts, such as Abraham offering Isaac as a burnt sacrifice, Jephthah’s sacrifice of his daughter, and even God himself sacrificing his own Son. God clearly admonishes us to murder our family members.

    With this, it may as well be argued that drinking the pumpkin spice latte is as if God himself has sanctioned a new rendition of the Holy Communion. And do we not see clearly God’s blessing of visiting coffee shops and drinking coffee while we commune with Jesus in the story of Mary & Martha? Martha, being clearly disturbed that Mary was taking too long drinking her PSL while communing with Jesus that afternoon, was told by Jesus, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42 ESV). Clearly, Christ himself calls us to remember the coffee shop, and keep it holy, and in it you shall do no work, but rest in the accomplished work and plan our own sacrifices as taught to us in our ESVs and pictured for us in the PSL.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. I’m reserving judgment on pumpkin spice until I can determine which Presidential candidate consumes more than the other. It’s obvious neither of them is familiar with ESV or any other version, so I am wishing over my delicious hot drink, they will both turn into pumpkins at midnight.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I love this so much. Thank you! You’re hilarious!

    And I’m shaking my head at the number of people who take themselves and their religion SO stinkin’ seriously that they can’t recognize satire when they see it.

    HUMOR, PEOPLE! Try it sometime! It makes life much, much better, I promise.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Satire, by definition, is ridicule or mockery and I have to wonder just who this piece is aimed at. I don’t care for anything at Starbucks for a variety of reasons; taste and cost being the biggies. And pumpkin belongs in pie in my humble opinion. But I still would be interested in the real point behind this. Yes it’s satire, I get that but unfortunately this does not strike me as entertaining in the least.!

    Liked by 1 person

    • And therein lies the point for satire – to lampoon those who take themselves so seriously they can’t have a little fun. A very enjoyable read, for those of us who enjoy a good laugh now and again.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. This is Satire, and should. It be allowed by Bible believing Christians. Satire comes from the word Sa, obviously from Satan. Satire is the devils sense of humor. It also has the suffix “tin” from the tin man. A man made of metal who has no heart. Need we say more? sa-tire is a humor used by the heartless Satan worshippers!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Reminds me of the Music Man (an old musical)
    “We got trouble right here in River City with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!”

    The logic is, “If I do ×, it might lead to y, which is just a hop, skip and jump away from z…”

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is absolutely the stupidest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. You must be so bored. Let me guess, you’re going to boycott salted caramel next because caramel is popular it must be of the devil? Get. A. Life.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, this made me laugh! And some of the comments! (Shout out to the guy who brought up the red starbucks cup! “Don’t make Jesus cry” – ROFL)

    My day started out emotional and hard, and this brought me up out of the pit. Thanks for the laugh, totally sharing this everywhere.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Pingback: October 2016 Month in Review – True and Pure

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